*This story is based on characters and other elements from titles in the Mass Effect universe which are owned by EA and Bioware. I do not claim any legal ownership.*
Kaidan paced anxiously inside Ambassador Udina’s office. The Citadel had been hard hit by Sovereign and Saren’s attack, but the Embassies themselves remained mostly intact. He had wanted to go with Shepard to meet with the Council members, Ambassador Udina and Captain Anderson, but she had refused.
“Any consequences for the choices taken during the attack will be mine and mine alone,” she had stated firmly.
He had wanted to argue that point with her, but he knew that tone and how futile any attempt on his part would be. Kaidan understood she was trying to protect him and he knew if things were reversed he would do exactly the same thing, but that didn’t make waiting any easier. He was at least glad she had agreed to let him accompany her off of the Normandy.
As the minutes dragged by he tried to reassure himself. After all, they had only stolen the Normandy as an act of last resort. They knew what would happen if Saren reached the conduit. They knew they were the only ones with any hope of stopping him. The choice had been clear. Of course, even with their efforts not all could be saved. The cost of life had been high during the attack, but it was nothing compared to what would have been lost if Sovereign had succeeded. The thought that they might lose their careers or even be incarcerated seemed a very small price to pay.
Surely the Council would see reason, that their actions had saved lives. It seemed logical that they would recognize what could have been and praise Shepard for her courageous acts instead of condemning her. Of course, logical was a term rarely used to describe any of the Council’s actions.
Suddenly he heard footsteps approaching from down the hall. He stopped pacing and anxiously waited for the door to open. He was more than ready to jump to Shepard’s defense if things had gone badly, hopefully it would not be needed.
Ambassador Udina appeared in the doorway, he seemed surprised to still see the Lieutenant waiting in his office. Captain Anderson and Commander Shepard arrived soon after. They were both smiling while; Udina seemed more frustrated than ever.
“Perhaps the three of you should leave,” Udina said abruptly. “This is still my office and I have a great deal of work to do.”
Captain Anderson nodded, “Of course. I will escort them back to the Normandy.”
Udina sat down at his desk noticeably unhappy, “Good, I think they have done enough. Good day to you all.”
Kaidan and Shepard followed Capt. Anderson out of Udina’s office. Kaidan could no longer contain his curiosity. “Well, I guess if you are taking us back to the Normandy they have decided not to charge us with treason?”
Captain Anderson smiled, “No, no charges of treason. Instead you, Shepard and the rest of the Normandy’s crew have earned humanity some respect from the Council. More than I ever thought possible really. Not that they will suddenly do everything we ask. They will at least have to listen though, now that we have a seat on the Council.”
Kaidan looked stunned. It wasn’t that he didn’t think humanity deserved it but that it was an actual reality was surprising. “You would have thought Udina would have been more pleased,” Kaidan stated.
Captain Anderson laughed, “Oh I am sure he would have been had the Commander not recommended me over him for the job.”
Shepard nodded approvingly, “We need a Councilor who will lead us down the right road, not just the most politically convenient one.”
Kaidan looked at her with amazement and wondered if there was anything she couldn’t do.
Upon reaching the ship Captain Anderson took a deep breath as he looked on the Normandy. “She is a fine ship, but it is her crew that makes her a great one.” “I am so proud of both of you.”
Shepard saluted and Kaidan quickly followed suit. “We learned from the best,” Shepard said proudly.
Kaidan nodded in agreement.
Captain Anderson smiled, “Good luck out there. I should get back to Udina’s office. I suppose I should try to smooth things over with him at least a little, as tempting as it is to let him stew a bit longer. He and I needed here on the Citadel to help with the reconstruction efforts.” Looking up and gesturing to the sky, “Out there, well that is where you are needed.” With that Captain Anderson turned and left.
Kaidan watched as the soft breezes blowing through the docking bay gently played with Shepard’s hair.
She was still looking on towards the elevator that had moments earlier departed with Captain Anderson aboard.
“You really are amazing,” Kaidan said sincerely.
Shepard turned and smiled warmly at him. “I could never have done this, any of this without you.”
Kaidan shook his head in disagreement. “You were a war hero even before I met you, since then you have become the first human Specter, saved the Citadel and got Captain Anderson on the Council. You are the most amazing woman I have ever met and I plan to keep telling you that until you believe it.”
Shepard smiled playfully, “I guess there are worse things than having a handsome man like you tell me how amazing I am.”
Kaidan stepped closer to her, “You think I am handsome?”
Shepard laughed playfully, “Ah, men. One little compliment and it goes straight to your head.”
Kaidan quickly glanced down at the elevator. Seeing no one was on their way up he put his arms around Shepard’s waist and pulled her close to him.
She felt the warmth of his body as it pressed against her.
He leaned in closer and she closed her eyes as his lips met hers. For a moment, there was nothing else in the universe except for the two of them.
Shepard pulled away from him slowly, until they were just far enough away to look into each other’s eyes. “Part of me was a little worried you might not want to continue this. I mean now that we are not taking part in a mutiny.”
Kaidan gently brushed a lock of hair that had fallen back behind her ear with his hand. “I admit we will have to be careful to maintain a balance. Captain Anderson is right, this is a great crew and we still have a lot of work to do, but I don’t plan on just letting you go either.”
Shepard smiled and leaned in until her forehead was against his. “I guess we should get back to work”, she said softly without moving from his embrace.
Kaidan placed one of his hands under her chin and gently lifted her face up to his. “Shepard, there is something I want to tell you. Something I should have said before now.”
Shepard pulled away from him and looked down at the floor before meeting his eyes again. “Kaidan, you don’t have to…”
He took her hands and pulled them to his chest. “I know I don’t have to, I want to, I need to…to tell you how important you are to me.”
She knew what he had been trying to say. She had wanted to tell him the same. Shepard knew in her heart that she loved him, but for some reason the thought of telling him scared her. Maybe because she hadn't said those words to anyone except for her parents. Both of her parents were in the Alliance and she had protected herself from painful goodbyes by not letting anyone get too close.
She sighed softly. “I thought you always left yourself a way out?”
He squeezed her hands gently, “Not with you.”
She smiled warmly and then kissed him. Her lips were soft and warm upon his.
He released her hands from his and wrapped his arms tightly around her waist, pulling her closer. After a moment he relaxed his grip.
Shepard gazed up at him and smiled. “I don’t want a way out either.” With that she turned and walked towards the Normandy’s air lock. She looked back at him and motioned toward the ship. “We should probably get back to work. Joker is no doubt waiting for us on the bridge.”
Kaidan smiled and nodded, “Aye-aye Ma’am.”
Joker sat in his chair rubbing his hand on his chin. It had been almost 2 hours since Commander Shepard and Lt. Alenko had gone to meet with Anderson, Udina and the Council. He had been nervously watching the lockout indicator on the console in front of him.
He half expected Udina or the Council to decide to lock them out of the Normandy’s controls again. Of course, he expected Shepard might just punch Udina in the jaw if he tried. Joker smiled at the image of Shepard slugging Udina in full sight of the Council. He imagined Udina getting up and crying out, “This is an outrage!” Joker laughed out loud and shook his head.
Pressly came up behind him and stood with his arms crossed. “Is something funny up here?”
Joker suddenly snapped back from the vision in his head and focused his attention on the panel in front of him. Joker quickly answered, “No, Sir.”
Pressly grumbled under his breath, as was common. “Any word from the Commander yet?”
Joker shook his head, “No, not yet.” Pressly nodded, “Hopefully she is telling that Council just who it was that pulled their collective butts out of the fire.”
Joker smiled, “I am sure she is doing just fine.” A light suddenly lit up on the panel in front of Joker, “They are back.”
Pressly nodded, “About time.”
Commander Shepard and Lt. Alenko felt the eyes of the crew on them as they boarded the Normandy. Shepard scanned the faces watching her and then headed towards Joker and Pressly. Kaidan followed a few steps behind.
Pressly saluted as she approached, “Ma’am, the Normandy is yours.”
Shepard nodded in acknowledgement, “Joker, I need to speak to the crew.”
Joker pushed a few buttons on the console, “All yours Commander.”
Shepard stepped forward, “Crew of the Normandy, this is Commander Shepard. As most of you know I spent the last few hours meeting with Captain Anderson, Ambassador Udina and the Council. They wanted me to tell you just how proud they are of each and every one of you. They know that we have persevered despite the odds. They also acknowledge the great debt they owe not only us, but all of those who fought to defend the Citadel. The Alliance has proven itself as a strong ally of the Council. In response to that they have made humanity a great offer. Captain Anderson will formerly join their ranks as a full Council member.”
Shepard heard the approving voices in the background and smiled. “You should all be proud. I am so honored to have you with me on the Normandy. There is still much work to be done however. First, we need to make the necessary repairs to our ship which we should be able make ourselves. Secondly, we have received orders from Admiral Hackett to find and eliminate any remaining Geth threat.”
After a brief pause Shepard continued, “Before we head off to follow those orders, however, we will be making one detour. I will be ordering Joker to fly us to Illium where I expect each and every one of you to take forty-eight hours of mandatory shore leave.”
Shepard smiled to herself as the cheers of her crew could be heard throughout the ship.
Joker looked up at the Commander, “Should I plot a course to Illium?”
Shepard nodded approvingly, “Absolutely.”
Joker punched in the coordinates, “Plot set Commander.”
Kaidan had been watching her speak to the crew with a sense of awe. She was not only respected by those under her command, but loved. He had no doubt looking at her in that moment that she would be able to pull them through anything they might face. As long as they had Shepard, they had a chance.
At the mention of mandatory shore leave, however, Kaidan forgot his thoughts about future missions and their ability to survive them. He felt his pulse quicken. Why hadn’t she mentioned her plans to give the crew shore leave? They had flirtatiously suggested taking joint shore leave even before they shared the night before Ilos. Had she changed her mind? What about the moment they had just shared in the docking bay?
Kaidan took a deep breath and asked himself the real question. Why did she make him so flustered and unsure about himself and at the same moment so certain about her?
Shepard patted Joker on the shoulder before heading down the walk towards Kaidan. “I have some things I need to take care of. Can you see that the ship repairs get underway Lt.?”
He nodded, “Of course Ma’am.”
Shepard smiled at him, “Thank you.” She let herself linger near him for a few more seconds before heading down to the elevator.
Kaidan watched as she walked away and anxiously awaited the next time they could steal a private moment together.
Shepard wanted to speak with Liara and the other non-Alliance crew members. She needed to ask each of them an important question. She headed down to the back of the medical bay to find Liara. Shepard knocked on the door before entering. Liara was hunched over a book intently reading. She realized Liara had not heard her enter. “Liara, do you have a moment?”
Liara dropped her book suddenly. “I am so sorry Shepard; I didn’t hear you come in.”
Shepard smiled, “It is alright Liara. I just needed to ask you something.”
Liara looked at Shepard with a sense of worry. “What is it Shepard? Is everything alright?”
Shepard smiled reassuringly, “Everything is fine. I just need to know what your plans are. You have helped me and this crew more than could ever have been expected. If you want to or need to move on to other obligations I will completely understand. I just need to know what you intentions are.”
Liara looked down for a moment and thought hard about her response. “Shepard you saved me. You have done more for me than anyone has ever done. You are the only true friend I have ever had. I will not abandon you and the rest of the crew to face the threat of the Reapers alone.”
Shepard stood quietly for a moment and then smiled warmly. “Thank you Liara.”
She received basically the same answer from Garrus, Wrex and Tali when she spoke with them. Part of her had wanted them to stay on board the Normandy, but then she remembered what happened to Ash. The thought that any more of her crew might pay the ultimate sacrifice was almost more than she could stand. She swore she would do everything in her power to make sure that no one else ever fell under her command . She knew the odds were against them but, knowing they would be by her side in the days to come made her feel reassured.
Shepard was relieved to be back in her cabin. Her body was past exhausted and she was happy to be able to enjoy a few moments of quiet. The familiar soft hum of the engines was the only sound she heard. She lay on her bed and closed her eyes. In the quiet darkness she allowed her mind to wander. It was not long before her thoughts drifted to Kaidan as they so often did.
At first she felt guilty that he might still be overseeing repairs while she lay in her bed doing nothing. She hoped that was not the case. She thought he might stop in before retiring for the evening, but if he was as tired as her she would forgive him for simply going to bed. She felt her eyes getting heavy as the need for sleep slowly overtook her.
It took her more than a few minutes for Shepard to realize the knocking at the door was not simply a sound from her dreams. She sat up slowly and rubbed at her eyes, trying to force them to focus. With a slight tone of irritation she called out towards the door, “Come in.”
Kaidan came in and let the door close behind him before speaking. He looked at her and realized immediately he had woken her. “I am so sorry. I didn’t mean to wake you Shepard. I should let you get back to sleep.” He started to turn back to the door.
Shepard sighed, “Wait, it’s alright. Is everything ok?”
Kaidan walked towards her and stood at the foot of the bed. “The repairs are almost complete. We shouldn’t have any problem finishing before we get to Illium.”
Shepard looked at him lovingly, “Come here.” She motioned for him to sit down on the bed. Kaidan sat on the edge of the bed with his back to her. She moved closer to him and began gently rubbing his shoulders. “You didn’t come here to give me a status report on the repairs. What’s really on your mind?”
He took a deep breath and let his muscles relax under her touch. “Why didn’t you tell me about the shore leave?”
Shepard stopped rubbing his back for a moment, “I am sorry, I wanted to surprise you. That isn’t what this is about though, is it?” Her hands were now resting on his shoulders.
He placed one of his hands on hers. “No...” His words trailed off.
Shepard moved to sit beside him. “Kaidan, please talk to me.”
He took a deep breath and turned to face her. She was the most beautiful woman he had ever seen and the way she looked at him. No one, not Rahna, not anyone, had ever looked at him like that. “Shepard, when I think about you, about us…I can’t imagine my life without you. I thought I had lost you on the Citadel, if…”
Shepard took his hands in hers. “I am fine and I am here,” she said softly. “What brought this on, Kaidan?”
He squeezed her hands gently, “Earlier when I was helping with the repairs, I just realized how empty Ash’s spot seemed.” He paused for minute. “You are the Normandy Shepard, without you the whole ship would feel empty. My life would feel empty.”
Shepard sighed deeply, “I will never willingly leave you Kaidan.”
He gave her a half smile, “I will hold you to that.”
Shepard returned the smile.
With that Kaidan stood up and looked at her from the foot of the bed. He extended his hand and she pulled herself up to meet him. They stood only inches apart. Their eyes met and he gently pulled her closer.
She placed her hands on the back of his neck, letting the tips of her fingers slide gently through his hair. He leaned in and kissed her deeply. She pressed her body against his in response. His hands pulled at her with a sense of longing. They both could feel the energy and heat building between them.
After a few moments both of them loosened their embrace. They knew they were quickly approaching the point where they would be unable and unwilling to stop, no matter what the regulations said.
Both Kaidan and Shepard took a minute to catch their breath. Kaidan smiled warmly, “I should probably let you get back to sleep.”
Shepard rolled her eyes, “Oh I am sure that will be very easy to do now. I know one thing, Joker better not take the scenic route to Illium.”
Kaidan grinned, “If he does, he and I will have to have a little talk.”
Shepard watched as the door closed behind Kaidan. She had known it would be difficult to keep her feelings for him separate from her duties. Yet, watching him leave her tonight was more difficult that she was prepared for. She forced herself to get back in bed and try to get some sleep. Several hours later, as she drifted back to sleep a smile crossed her face as she thought of the moments they had just shared. Shore leave could not come soon enough.
Shepard rolled over onto her side and rubbed her eyes. She hadn’t gotten as much sleep as she wanted or needed. Instead of sleeping she had spent most of the night thinking about Kaidan. She had wanted him to stay with her more than anything. It had taken all of her willpower to let him walk out of her cabin. Shepard closed her eyes and sighed deeply, trying to clear her mind.
She glanced over at the clock, her eyes still trying to fully focus. Suddenly realizing she had forgotten to set her alarm. She forced herself to sit up in her bed and rubbed her forehead. She had indeed overslept, not by an obscene amount but by a noticeable one. She could already hear Joker’s sarcastic comments in her head. She managed to get herself dressed and presentable in a shorter amount of time than usual. Taking a deep breath she headed up to the bridge, might as well head Joker off at the pass.
Kaidan had gotten up early that morning. The Normandy was scheduled to dock at Illium in just a few hours and he wanted to get the crew started on the remaining repairs as soon as possible.
Of course, he knew the real reason he had been up for hours. Thoughts of Shepard had been swirling through his mind ever since he left her cabin. He replayed the memories of their night before Ilos, the intimate moment they shared in the docking bay and of holding her in his arms only hours before.
Kaidan realized the only way to get her out of his mind was to throw himself into his work. His plan had worked after a while. The repairs were finished and he was able to return to his station for the remainder of the journey to Ilium. His thoughts were focused on his ship responsibilities and he had not given himself time to think of her for several hours.
Shepard still a bit groggy exited her cabin and headed towards the stairs. She stopped mid-stride when she saw Kaidan immersed in his work at his station. She debated whether to interrupt him.
Kaidan looked up just in time to see her standing there. All of the memories he had been pushing to the back of his mind suddenly came rushing back. He smiled warmly at her, “Good morning Shepard. I thought you would be on the bridge by now.”
Shepard laughed and walked toward him. “I thought I would be too.”
He shook his head, “You know Joker won’t let you slide on this.”
She smiled, “He will if he still wants his shore leave.”
Kaidan’s face scrunched up in fake pain, “Ouch. Well, I guess there are a few perks that come with being in command.”
Shepard stepped a bit closer to Kaidan leaving just enough space between them to still look professional. She smiled playfully, “Speaking of shore leave, any plans lieutenant?”
Kaidan loved when she allowed the playful side of her personality to come out. He gave her a half smile. He knew exactly what he had planned, but decided it would be more fun to toy with her a bit. “Well, it is Illium. That means lots of Asari and well I have heard they can be quite…
talented.”Shepard glanced around her to see if anyone was nearby. For the moment at least they were alone. She leaned in and whispered in his ear, “I am far more talented than any Asari.”
Kaidan didn’t know which he found more tantalizing, the suggestive meaning of her words or the sensation of her warm breath on his ear.
Shepard leaned back slowly. She realized she had gotten the desired reaction from the look on his face and the sudden blushing of his cheeks. She grinned seeing his trouble of coming up with a response. “Would you like to revise your previous statement?”
He nodded in affirmation. “I only have one thing planned.” He looked at her with a sense of conviction, “To be with you.”
Shepard sighed softly, “Sounds perfect.” They gazed at each other briefly before Shepard turned and walked up the stairs.
Kaidan struggled to get his mind back on his work. He took solace in the knowledge that soon he could spend two whole days thinking of nothing but her.
Joker sat grinning in his chair as he heard the Commander approaching. “Good morning Commander, or is it good afternoon?”
Shepard sighed disapprovingly, “That’s it? I expected something much better.”
Joker laughed, “Oh, I have more. That was just what I decided to open with.”
The Commander looked off into the distance. She should have poked fun at Joker for failing his namesake, but instead she was thinking about Kaidan. She thought perhaps if she concentrated hard enough she could will the Normandy to reach her destination a bit sooner.
Joker noticed Shepard’s lack of appreciation for his attempts to tease her about her punctuality and silently cursed his lame attempt at humor. He decided it was best to just cut his losses. “So…got big plans for your shore leave Commander?”
It took Shepard a moment to register his question. “My only plan is to not think about the mission.” Shepard realized this was partly true. She had simply left out what she did plan to think about. “And you Joker?”
He laughed, “Of course, but nothing I am going to share with my commanding officer. I wasn’t born yesterday.” She smiled, “Just as long as I don’t get a call to come bail you out.” Suddenly the console began blinking. Joker sat up and grinned. “Well, we are here.”
The crew began filing out of the Normandy once the docking bay fees had been taken care of. Shepard was originally planning to pay the fees herself. That changed once she had spoken to Admiral Hackett about approving the shore leave. He had insisted that he would take care of it. She had suspected from his tone that he, not the Alliance, would be where the credits came from.
Pressly had been overseeing the crew’s departure. After a few minutes only she and Pressly remained on the bridge. “The crew has all taken their leave, save you, me and Lt. Alenko,” he stated.
She nodded, “Very good Pressly.”
Kaidan made his way down the walk to where Shepard and Pressly were talking.
Pressly looked up briefly when he heard his approach. “The Normandy will be locked down during our stay here. Only you Commander, the Lt. and I will have the security codes to regain access.”
Shepard nodded, “Nice job Pressly. I need to discuss something with the lieutenant. Why don’t you go ahead and take your leave.”
Pressly saluted and then headed toward the airlock.
Kaidan waited until he heard the airlock doors close. He took Shepard’s hand and pulled her close.
She leaned her head on his shoulder. “Well, we are finally alone,” she said softly.
He held her for a moment savoring the feeling of her body next to his. “I have something to show you.”
Shepard giggled, “I bet.”
Kaidan shook his head, “I walked right into that one. Actually, it isn’t on the ship.”
She leaned back with a look of curiosity, “Really?”
Kaidan led her through the winding corridors of Illium. They had kept a close, but professional distance between them just in case they ran into any of the Normandy’s crew. She had tried to pry some details about where they were headed, but he had been completely unforthcoming.
After what seemed like forever Kaidan seemed to have zeroed in on their destination. It was tall, smooth structure. To Shepard it looked like any one of the other numerous buildings they had already passed. Once inside, however, she could tell it was some sort of hotel.
Shepard hung back a bit while Kaidan approached the pretty Asari at the front counter. He returned carrying a small key card and smiling. “I took the privilege of booking us a room.”
Shepard was a little surprised by his willingness to take charge. He had always seemed a bit reserved when it came to their relationship. She smiled warmly and followed him to the nearby elevator. “You are full of surprises,” she said as the doors of the elevator closed behind them.
Kaidan opened the door to the room, “Ladies first.”
Shepard stepped in and surveyed the room. It was far more luxurious than she had expected. “Kaidan, this is…absolutely beautiful.”
He had followed her into the room and locked the door behind him. He pulled her close, “I am glad you like it.”
She smiled and rested her head on his chest. “You are too good to me,” she said quietly.
Kaidan ran his hand through her hair. He had been waiting for a chance to truly be alone with her for too long. Kaidan whispered softly to her, "I love you." The words he had struggled and failed to say to her back at the Citadel docking bay came easily now.
Shepard looked at him affectionately. She wanted to remember everything about this moment. Shepard felt all of her fears about expressing her true feelings for him replaced by a need for him to know. She smiled lovingly at Kaidan, “I love you too.”
He placed his hand on her cheek and smiled. Kaidan pulled her close and gently kissed her.
Shepard moved her hands to his back and pulled him closer and he responded by kissing her a bit more forcefully.
He let his arms slide down to her waist. Kaidan slowly began running his fingers under the edge of her shirt.
She felt her skin tingling as his hands slid under her shirt. She raised her arms as he slid it off and let it fall to the floor.
Kaidan slid his hands up her bare back. He could feel her muscles tense under his touch.
She ran her hands down his spine until she reached the bottom of his shirt.
He felt his pulse quicken as she pulled his shirt off and let it too fall to the floor.
This time they let the energy between them continue to build. There was no worry over regulations or fear of discovery. They pulled at each other with a desperate hunger.
Kaidan suddenly swept her up in his arms and carried her over to the bed. He placed her down gently and she moved to the center of the bed.
Shepard smiled invitingly at him.
This time he would not be forced to leave her alone with only her thoughts and memories of him to keep her company. For the next two days he would be with her. He would fall asleep in her arms and wake up to her next to him. And when he was finally forced to return to spending his waking moments wary of appearing to affectionate and his nights without her beside him, he would remember this moment.
No comments:
Post a Comment